I'm feeling really frustrated
Nov. 3rd, 2019 03:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missmavenLast weekend I lost my purse. Mer eventually found it Monday evening roughly where I originally thought I'd put it under a pile of coats.
Tuesday I lost my fitbit and I've yet to find it.
I'm consistently losing things lately. My brain is mush and I don't have much motivation to get things done.
It's all part of the decompression of spending months over-functioning to get through Friday's declining health and being Mys City Planning Lead while still adjusting to a new job.
I know this but it's frustrating.
I can't seem to get back into the swing of being organized and focused.
This week, in particular, has been rough. Last weekend was jam-packed with things. Decomp party on Friday, helping a friend move Sat. A soft-core costume/sex party Sat night, and then the camp clean up on Sunday. Everything went great, I had a wonderful time. I stepped out of my comfort zone a LOT and was far more Toppy than usual throughout the weekend. Managed to get a power nap in so I was rested for the sex party. Played on the cross in a public setting - a first for me.
And by Monday I was starting a really hard drop. Lot of insecurity about playing in public and about being more toppy. And the mood dragged on for the whole damn week.
I really want to get better about being assertive in a Top capacity. I'm loved and supported in this endevor. I've got a hella enthusiastic sub and a great Top to ask advice of. But my god, my own brain meats are gonna make that hard as hell.
Gonna try to get more focused by writing in here more often. Nothing big. Just want a goal of sitting down every other day or so and writing out my thoughts. It's a really helpful habit and I think it'll help get me back on track.
Tuesday I lost my fitbit and I've yet to find it.
I'm consistently losing things lately. My brain is mush and I don't have much motivation to get things done.
It's all part of the decompression of spending months over-functioning to get through Friday's declining health and being Mys City Planning Lead while still adjusting to a new job.
I know this but it's frustrating.
I can't seem to get back into the swing of being organized and focused.
This week, in particular, has been rough. Last weekend was jam-packed with things. Decomp party on Friday, helping a friend move Sat. A soft-core costume/sex party Sat night, and then the camp clean up on Sunday. Everything went great, I had a wonderful time. I stepped out of my comfort zone a LOT and was far more Toppy than usual throughout the weekend. Managed to get a power nap in so I was rested for the sex party. Played on the cross in a public setting - a first for me.
And by Monday I was starting a really hard drop. Lot of insecurity about playing in public and about being more toppy. And the mood dragged on for the whole damn week.
I really want to get better about being assertive in a Top capacity. I'm loved and supported in this endevor. I've got a hella enthusiastic sub and a great Top to ask advice of. But my god, my own brain meats are gonna make that hard as hell.
Gonna try to get more focused by writing in here more often. Nothing big. Just want a goal of sitting down every other day or so and writing out my thoughts. It's a really helpful habit and I think it'll help get me back on track.