missmaven | The Millers Daughter

There is an old tale called The Miller's Daughter. The Miller gives away part of his property and all that is on it in a bargain with the Devil. He gives away the property in exchange for riches thinking that only an apple tree is lost. But what the Miller thinks isn't enough. He looses his daughter to the Devil because she is there with the apple tree, he learns later from his wife. The Miller and his wife suffer tremendously from such a great loss. And the daughter too suffers severely going through several trials before finally escaping from the Devil to go on with her life. What the Miller knew, or thought he knew, wasn't enough. His good intentions just to gain wealth were not enough. He did not know that there was something that he did not know. That before he actually lost his daughter to the Devil he had lost her in another way. He had lost, if ever he had it, his ability to relate to her.

If he had truly related to his wife and daughter as real people with real lives of their own he would have at least talked to them about giving away the field before he did it. He would have realized that since they were living on the property it was their backyard, too. And he would have never struck his ill fated bargain or his daughter would have known his plan and would have stayed off the back property. If only he'd asked. Instead the Miller acted for everyone. Even with good intentions everyone suffers if the ability to relate is lost.

- Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You, Patricia Evans