Writing Prompt:

Do we mean the same things when we say “I love you?”
Do you love me the way I want to be loved?
Do I love you the way you want to be loved?
What is love to you?
I think these are amazing questions to ask your partners. Thoughts?
Posted with the article: Feeling Loved and Being Loved are Different


I think these are great questions to discuss with partners and friends. Love is a very complicated thing for most people. Society wraps up a lot with romantic love. From true love and soul mates to lifelong commitments, "I love you" has a weight to it. It's why we worry about saying "I love you" too soon in a new relationship.
And why we don't equate saying "I love you" and "I love ice cream" as the same. But I think they are.

Love is an emotion. It's fleeting and impermanent. No one takes a bite of ice cream and says I will love you forever, forsaking all others. It's simply I love this. Now, in this moment. With no expectations of the future.

You can love a person just as impermanently at you do ice cream. They can be a light in your life for just one night. Society tells us that real love must come with commitment. But commitment, compatibility, shared experiences and a deep understanding of another person aren't intrinsic in love. They are additional elements that can develop over time and add to your love.

That's why, I think, love is so complicated for people. They assume all these other elements come bundled up in that feeling. They're not. And sometimes you can deeply love someone and still not meet their needs.
That doesn't mean you don't love them, or that they weren't loved. It just means those other things didn't happen as well.