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I’ve been feeling a bit unanchored lately. Just… adrift, no accountability. It’s not gotten me in trouble, but I dislike the feeling.
I heard recently (from totally informed sources) that journaling is one way to help create structure for an ADHD brain. I used to journal ALL the time. I got out of it during the divorce.
For one thing, I was super paranoid that anything I posted could find it’s way to my ex, he’d twist it and it'd end up in court. This paranoia stayed with me for years, affecting my ability to at times post anything out of this vague fear that he’d be able to warp it and use it against me.
For another, I couldn’t talk about it. I couldn’t write about it. It’s been three years and I’m only now starting to process through it all.
Add to that that Facebook had eclipsed most of the online journals and I wasn’t able to ever really kick it back up. I still write posts in a notepad, and at times am even diligent enough to post them in my journal. But that urge to click my feed and see, really see, what my friends are up to is always a letdown. That part, not being able to read other’s entries, more than anything makes me feel like I’m speaking to an empty room.
Anywho, I’ve realized that my journaling might have had far more benefit to keeping my mind organized that I originally gave it credit for. And I think I’m in desperate need of more grounding.
And, I think I’m ready to be more introspective.
I’ve been longing for alone time. That’s good. For the past couple years I haven’t been able to really be comfortable with the quiet of my own head, mainly because it wasn’t quiet. Not at all.
I heard recently (from totally informed sources) that journaling is one way to help create structure for an ADHD brain. I used to journal ALL the time. I got out of it during the divorce.
For one thing, I was super paranoid that anything I posted could find it’s way to my ex, he’d twist it and it'd end up in court. This paranoia stayed with me for years, affecting my ability to at times post anything out of this vague fear that he’d be able to warp it and use it against me.
For another, I couldn’t talk about it. I couldn’t write about it. It’s been three years and I’m only now starting to process through it all.
Add to that that Facebook had eclipsed most of the online journals and I wasn’t able to ever really kick it back up. I still write posts in a notepad, and at times am even diligent enough to post them in my journal. But that urge to click my feed and see, really see, what my friends are up to is always a letdown. That part, not being able to read other’s entries, more than anything makes me feel like I’m speaking to an empty room.
Anywho, I’ve realized that my journaling might have had far more benefit to keeping my mind organized that I originally gave it credit for. And I think I’m in desperate need of more grounding.
And, I think I’m ready to be more introspective.
I’ve been longing for alone time. That’s good. For the past couple years I haven’t been able to really be comfortable with the quiet of my own head, mainly because it wasn’t quiet. Not at all.
