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missmavenOne coworker (older) was ragging on another (younger) for being single and not actively seeking out someone to date (that in and of itself… uhg) especially around Valentine's day, he says (rolls eyes harder). Then he goes on to say he’s never been single. That if a girl broke up with him by the end of that day he’d be going out with another he had waiting in the wings. And I’m just like… what. the. fuck. man.
(Also… are you friends with my father? Because you two have the same moves apparently.)
I know with poly we often don’t spend a lot of time traditionally ‘single’ but.. but.. #EnjoyYourAloneTime #DateYourself #YouCompleteYouBeau
Fun bit of trivia - I went to my Prom stag. I’d had a boyfriend for a year and a half and we’d broken up a couple months before. It wasn’t so much that there was anything wrong. Actually, he’d been the nicest guy I’d dated to date. But we weren’t going in the same direction. He desperately wanted to settle down and have kids right after high school and I was just getting started. I used to joke that I wanted to be able to drink of my own accord at my wedding. And I realized he had plans to ask me once I turned 21. It struck me as a bit too... handing a woman off from father to husband. I need time to be me. It was the last monogamous relationship I had.
But anyways, I found myself single with Prom approaching. I’m guessing if I’d tried I could have found a date. But I didn’t see the point of trying to shoehorn a person into a slot just so I wasn’t officially alone for Prom. Something about that seems MORE lonely to me, not less. I also didn’t see it as that big of a deal.
Years later when prom would come up in convos I found that people were floored that I’d gone alone. Like it was this horrible thing.
Just like I see people talking about V-day and being alone on that day is a supposed to be horrible.
I get it, events and holidays like this one are marketed to make you feel like you’re not complete without a romantic relationship.
You know what? If you don’t have plans tonight. Take yourself on a date. A date that only you could take yourself on because you know you best. Stay in and take a long indulgent bath with a good book, watch your favorite porn, invite your best friend over for drinks and deep conversation. Or call it an early night because a good nights sleep is indulgent as hell.
The most important person in your love life is yourself.
And stay away from fancy restaurants because actually going out and doing anything close to a traditional romantic dinner thing tonight is going to be, economically speaking, problematic.
(Also… are you friends with my father? Because you two have the same moves apparently.)
I know with poly we often don’t spend a lot of time traditionally ‘single’ but.. but.. #EnjoyYourAloneTime #DateYourself #YouCompleteYouBeau
Fun bit of trivia - I went to my Prom stag. I’d had a boyfriend for a year and a half and we’d broken up a couple months before. It wasn’t so much that there was anything wrong. Actually, he’d been the nicest guy I’d dated to date. But we weren’t going in the same direction. He desperately wanted to settle down and have kids right after high school and I was just getting started. I used to joke that I wanted to be able to drink of my own accord at my wedding. And I realized he had plans to ask me once I turned 21. It struck me as a bit too... handing a woman off from father to husband. I need time to be me. It was the last monogamous relationship I had.
But anyways, I found myself single with Prom approaching. I’m guessing if I’d tried I could have found a date. But I didn’t see the point of trying to shoehorn a person into a slot just so I wasn’t officially alone for Prom. Something about that seems MORE lonely to me, not less. I also didn’t see it as that big of a deal.
Years later when prom would come up in convos I found that people were floored that I’d gone alone. Like it was this horrible thing.
Just like I see people talking about V-day and being alone on that day is a supposed to be horrible.
I get it, events and holidays like this one are marketed to make you feel like you’re not complete without a romantic relationship.
You know what? If you don’t have plans tonight. Take yourself on a date. A date that only you could take yourself on because you know you best. Stay in and take a long indulgent bath with a good book, watch your favorite porn, invite your best friend over for drinks and deep conversation. Or call it an early night because a good nights sleep is indulgent as hell.
The most important person in your love life is yourself.
And stay away from fancy restaurants because actually going out and doing anything close to a traditional romantic dinner thing tonight is going to be, economically speaking, problematic.